Emotional Intelligence (Archived)

Emotional Intelligence 1:

Studies and books have recently showed up talking about a kind of intelligence called (Emotional Intelligence) and is thought to be much more important that the known intelligence identified by an I.Q test, but it is also believed that emotional intelligence contributes with more than 80% in the probability of the success or failure in the practical life of an individual, where as traditional intelligence (I.Q) contributes only with 20%.

One of the most important and first references to the subject is a book called ‘Emotional intelligence’ for Dr. Daniel Goleman from Harvard University, which was published in 1995.

So, what is Emotional Intelligence?

The definition of this kind of intelligence can be indentified with 5 different abilities.

1-      The ability of an individual to know and understand his personal feelings:

The ability of an individual to monitor his psychological feelings while occurrence, and realizing their causes, and understanding its dimensions and fluctuations are the most important reasons in building emotional intelligence.

When a person is unable to understand those feelings, he becomes a victim and a hostage to yield under their mercy, thus being moved by his environment and its fluctuations.

But those who have better understanding to what they are feeling, confident in their understandings and perceiving of their emotions, thus being more able to manage and control their lives, and more confident with their own decisions.

2-      The ability to manage and control your psychological feelings:

This ability cannot be accomplished, unless the previous one is accomplished first. People who are unable to accomplish control over their feelings are always in a psychological battle and under a lot of stress.

But those who are able to have more control over their emotions are able to stand up after they fall and try again when they do not succeed and beat all obstacles and setbacks, and reinitiate work with an optimistic soul, ambitious and has a bright look to life.

3-      The ability to self motivate to work:

The ability to motivate yourself, emotions and feelings to achieve goals and control impulses and desires, priorities work and delaying rest, are the most important factors of success, and the ability to engage at work with all emotions and feelings, are the most important factors for creativity.

4-      The ability to notice, understand and reflect humane emotions and feelings in others:

The ability to sympathies is one of the most important factors of success in human relationships. Individuals with high ability in their area are able to capture and notice simple social changes in people around them and understand their psychological feelings, thus being better in many areas of work that needs human interactions.

5-      The ability to handle personal relationships and control them:

This ability is one of the main factors to success in life, a huge aspect of it, is the ability to control other people’s feelings (understanding their feelings and handling them).

And this ability specifies how popular and accepted an individual is, and his ability to lead. People with this ability are successful in everything they undertake with other people readily and easily, as they are considered stars in that field.

The seriousness of the matter is that many parents do not realize or know that the 5 pervious abilities are formed in the early years of a child’s life, and what was lost in those years are difficult to rectify. This is why successful parenthood can build their emotional intelligence.

And this is what we will be discussing in the episodes to come.

Emotional Intelligence 2:

In our first episode, we identified the subject of Emotional Intelligence with certain abilities, an example is the ability of individuals to know and understand their own private and personal feelings, and to manage and control them while motivating themselves towards hard work, noticing details, understanding and reflecting humane emotions and feeling for others, as well as the ability to handle and have control over their personal relationships.

We mentioned that Emotional Intelligence contributes in more than 80% of the probability for success or failure of individuals in their practical lives; where as traditional intelligence (I.Q’s) contributes with only 20%.

We finished the article by stressing on an important point that has a great deal of dangerous implications, that is, a lot of parents do not realize that, emotional intelligence is formed in the first years of a child’s life, and how successful parents are in building this kind of intelligence in children, and the probability of the child’s success in life. The brain continues to develop and grow after a child’s birth, reaching its climax in the first years of their life, and the environment surrounding the child motivates the brain cells to operate during the first years of their life. Thus, specifying the future abilities of individuals to receive information, analyze it and deal with it.

And depending on the quality of the surrounding environment and interactions lived by the child, certain brain functions and parts are activated, where the neural signals and communications are strengthened. And so, those brain functions will grow and develop in the brain. But when there is no suitable and healthy environment to allow the brain functions to grow those functions and parts of the brain cells will become use-less and die, and often, that happens to children living their first years of life in separation or unhealthy environments, unsuitable for their brains to grow healthy as a result to their families ignorance or the community as a whole.

The more important thing is that the brain does not save or store information or specifies the child’s future abilities only, but also stores all the emotions and feelings that have the ability to formulate capabilities of interaction and how to handle and control them in a part of the brain called (Amygdala).

Scientific studies show that, a group of interactions and feelings lived by the child in his first days and years, constitutes and originates for them a group of emotional lessons that stays throughout all their lives as a strong and stable reference and well-established with their surroundings and the people around them, with its importance, influence and origin, but it is difficult on the applicant to understand or analyze it, because it was already stored in the brain at early stages with primitive tools, when they were unable to speak or analyze. And that’s why when emotions evolve; the first impulse an individual does is an expression and a reflection for those buried emotions, which also amazes the individual himself after they occur and finish with the automated quick reaction. And this is what’s called (Brain Hijack) in psychology.

Dr. Joseph Le Doux, a neurological scientist in New York University, is one of the first to discover the important role of (Amygdala) in relation to the formation of the brains actions, he explained how this ‘gland’ can control our actions at the time where the conscious mind is thinking to take a decision, and that is because the neural signals are transmitted from this ‘gland’ first and fast, just before going to the conscious mind (Neocortex) which enables it to respond quickly before the conscious mind (that conducts an analysis of the actions in a rational studied way, suitable to the signal or event).

And that is why this gland can react on its own away from the mind, as for the emotional reactions that burst from people without any role from their conscious minds.

It was also found that, this gland grows quickly in the stages of the mind formation of the fetus until almost completed by the time of birth unlike the rest of the brain; its function is similar to that of a camera or a video that records everything the eyes fall on, and then stores it, to form a psychological reference to the child today and men or women of tomorrow, and that is why a psychologist would say, give me the first 5 years of the child’s life, I give you a man. Meaning that, what defines our personalities and abilities is what we live throughout the first years of our life.

Communities that didn’t get enough education, where children have a look of ignorance in their eyes, unaware and does not understand, knowing that children can understand thousands of words before reaching 5 years of age, even though they only use few of them at that time. And the most important influence to a child’s life is his parents, for they are their child’s mirror and window to life, if they opened that window and let the light in, their children’s hearts will light, if they closed those windows, and not allow them to see the world, only through walls and darkness throughout their lives, forming basics of interaction for the future, and his emotional intelligence.

Dear Parents: Your children’s future is trusted with your hands, they are like fertile land, what you plant in them today, you and your communities will reap tomorrow.